I knew that I would have an uphill fight on my hands trying to launch an art career - that made money - in this economy. I knew from the getgo that I was going to have to be focused, sure of my intent for each day, and that it was going to take boldness to go where I was going to go. To help with that intent and need for boldness I chose "intent" and 'bold" for my word of the year.
And I started the year off with a bang - new blog, new Etsy store, new artwork, but somewhere in there, I lost my way. I lost my momentum, my focus, my intent, and my boldness. I was talking with Chris over the weekend about being dissatisfied with everything I had painted lately. I've been having a hard time focusing on art so instead I've been attacking our yard in the mornings. More signs pointing to the disconnect happening in my life and I did NOT see it. Until yesterday.
I spent yesterday on the computer - organizing files, listing things in Etsy, updating my web site, building new design files, etc. and whining about it. Whining! What was I thinking?! This is the life I was born to live! And I'm whining? This is the short list of some of the things that hit me full on yesterday:
- I've been painting a lot, but I don't have much to show for it in the way of sellable art work. (My sketchbook is my comfort spot. I've been spending a lot of time there lately. Too much as it turns out.)
- I had not updated my web site in 8 months!
- I had not included links to Etsy on the website and the old blog was still up from January!
And here I've been telling the Universe to "bring it on" when my actions were saying was I really didn't believe in myself, my work, my ability or my talents. Because if I had believed in myself and my work I would have had my web site updated, I would have more work finished, and I would have had Etsy updated more frequently!
It happened so slowly, that losing momentum, that I didn't notice. I'm lucky though in that I've realized it sooner rather than later. Now, with eyes wide open, I can look at the last few months and see that I've been stuck. I am also looking at the coming month and setting out goals for each week; time to evaluate each week to see how it went; to research some areas of possible new business; and to start moving forward again.
I share all this with you to invite you to look around at your life. It is the end of the first quarter of 2009. Perhaps it's time to take an assessment of how you're doing - are you meeting your goals? Do you need to write new ones? What needs focus? What needs more attention? What are your actions saying to the Universe?