I had started to put together a sketch of some of these images. I wanted to do a more personal representation of the day and I was struggling with my sketch to make it look like Amanda and her new husband, Dustin.
When Chris came in from work and saw the sketch, we started to talk about it. I was not happy with it at all. Since it was family, I definitely wanted the people in the sketch to look like who it was suppose to be and not the Asian folks that had shown up on the page.
Chris offered some constructive comments....Dustin's head was too small for his body, but the proportions were good. Then he criticized the photo I had chosen. I admit it wasn't the best, and the angle was crazy, but it was the one that I thought best summed up the wedding.
Then he went on talking about how hard it is to draw people, let alone family. Throw in that crazy angle and well, it was just about impossible. That's why he'd quit doing artwork with people in it. At the end of the conversation I decided he was right. It was impossible and I couldn't do it.
|Amanda & Dustin|
I wasn't good enough.
Mind you, that's not what he said at all. It's what I heard. My insecurities were already raging, nipping at my heels and chewing on my toes. (I tend to think of my insecurities as piranhas...they move in at the first scent of insecurity and work into a feeding frenzy.)
I took my sketchbook back to the studio and erased the whole page......
I shouldn't have listened.
Not to my insecurities. Nor to my fears that I couldn't complete the sketch to my satisfaction. And I shouldn't have erased the damn thing.
|Cheesecake and Cupcakes!|
1. The next time my insecurities are that raw, it's probably best not to enter into a conversation about the art no matter how well-meaning the person may be.
2. Wait before erasing. Nothing would have changed if I would have waited until this morning and still decided to erase.
3. I shouldn't have listened to the fear. I know better. Fear is not a good leader.
4. I would have learned something if I had gone ahead with the sketch, even if I had not done the work satisfactorily or to my satisfaction (two different things).
5. Nobody but me would have seen it anyway. Especially if I didn't think it was good enough.
|Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Watkins!|