Splatter, Splotches and Fuzzy Brains

9:23 PM

Oh, my.

Splattered. Splotchy. Fuzzy thinking. Long periods of staring at nothing.

That about sums up the last two weeks of my life.

I seem to have missed that time of year....that transitional period between ending and beginning, as if time is paused, so I could get my new year off to a great start by laying out plans, goals and dreams.

The ending of 2011 was a tough time and the beginning of 2012 is not off to a stellar start....

We lost our sweet Siberian Husky, Susie, on December 30th.

She had been sick for a while now, and it was touch-and-go during the holidays.

We then took Andi, another of our puppies, to the vet on Monday as she has been feeling poorly.

She has lymphoma.

Andi has a very limited amount of time. It depends on how she responds to the meds we're giving her.

Yesterday, my 15-month-old niece was taken to the hospital after having a seizure.

The baby was moved from ICU to a regular room and we're hoping she'll be released today. So far, no conclusions on what caused the seizure.

As I said, not a great ending nor a recommend way to start off a new year.

What I'm learning.....is that life, and that mythical thing known as balance, is a very fluid thing.

In my case, most of the fluid of life has shifted towards my pets and family. The blog has been (too) quiet, my work hasn't been getting the normal attention I show it, and daily chores haven't been kept up as normal.

I've decided to give this time to myself, as a gift and that it's okay.

To take the time to grieve, to let the new year take off without me being in a happy, celebratory mood, to put family first.

WITHOUT guilt.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, I'll be back.

Full throttle.

Right now, I need to heal, to be close to family, and to spend time with Andi.

I hope you understand.

I wish you the very best of the new year.

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28 Creative Thought(s)

  1. I've been thinking about you Laure, and wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing more trials in your family and with your pets (surely a part of your family, too).

    I'm sending a boatload of positive energy your way and hoping you find some peace and balance and that I will find you again making art.

    xoxo

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  2. you are doing exactly what you need to right now. There will always be times in our lives when balance and priorities are an ever changing concept. Be good to your self. Will keep you in my thoughts.

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  3. So sorry to hear about your loss of your Husky... and the illness of your other puppy. They are family and so hard to get over. I hope your Niece is going to be all right. Scary to have that happen in one so young. Take the time you need. I had to take some time off too and it feels good to come back refreshed. We will miss you but understand.

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  4. Wishing you lots of healing and rest during this difficult time. I have lost beloved dogs, too, and it's the bitter that tends to go with so much sweet of sharing your life with dogs.

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  5. What an awful way to begin the year girl. Big hugs coming your way. I am so sorry to hear about your dogs and your sweet niece. Don't you just wonder when this horrid cloud is going to blow over. By all means take time to heal yourself. More Big hugs, love and healing thoughts and prayers coming your way.

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  6. So sorry Laure....no words to add, just a big hug and the Hope!

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  7. All this sadness brought tears to my eyes.....I know exactly how you feel but taking time off to heal really does help.

    Many hugs to you to help heal.

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  8. Laure, there nothing more I can say that hasn’t already been expressed. Please know that my thoughts are with you during these difficult times. Take all the time you need to heal knowing that your friends are here waiting with open arms for your return. Heart felt hugs for you and your family.

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  9. Oh dear ... Here's sending you positive thoughts.

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  10. Laure, I'm so sorry - I had been wondering where you were. I wish I had words of wisdom to dispense but all I can give is a cyber hug and oodles of positive energy. My thoughts are with you...

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  11. Laure -- my Christmas and New Years is very similar with the illness of my mom ... my heart goes out to you as I know, reallly KNOW, how challenging it all can be ... big hugs, lots of love, and prayers.

    Lin

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  12. Laure, I'm so sorry.....for some awful reason, these bad things seem to come in bunches.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, while you take care of yourself through this difficult time.
    And you will come out on top again....
    (what is it this year? the last 3 weeks have been very upsetting in my family, too.)

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  13. Thank you, Vicki, for the positive energy....much needed.

    Thanks, Tyanne, I'm trying to be accepting of the situation. Kinda hard.

    Yes, Cris, it was a very scary thing, but it looks like the baby is okay and we'll spend as much time with Andi as we can before she has to go.

    Thank you, Stacy, yes, there's definitely a bit side to love.

    Thanks for the hugs, Lisa, much needed. I do wonder when things are going to turn upward. I keep trying to go that way....

    Thank you, Pina, much love to you as well!

    Oh, Teri, I'm sure that was not an easy read for you after just losing Sunshine. Thanks for the hugs.

    Thanks, Clare, your kindness touches me deeply.

    Thank you, Diane.

    Grace, thank you for your positive energy. Gladly accepted.

    Oh, Lin, hugs to you as well. I knew you'd mentioned a family illness. So sorry you and your family have been having to deal with your mom's illness. Hope you and your mom are both healing....much love bak to you.

    Susie, I'm convinced 2012 is going to be a good, no, make that a great year, we just have to get through with whatever nastiness has settled over us. I hope the sun is shining in your world again soon!

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  14. Dear Laure - sorry to read about your recent loss and with the other troubles as well it must seem hard to bear. Thinking of you and sending a big hug your way. Take care. C x

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  15. ...sending you love and hugs. :-(

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  16. Laure:
    I'm so sorry to read of all these sad and worrisome things, especially on the heels of the scares you had with your parents this fall. Glad you are clear on the importance of not pushing yourself to do things that will scatter your energy and dilute your time away from what need to be priorities right now. Wishing your niece a good outcome and your time with your pup to be fulfilling.

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear of all the sad things that have come your way recently. This is a very stressful time. Wish I could give you a big hug, but I'll have to send my thoughts and prayers across the miles instead.

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  18. Oh Laure, I am so sorry to hear about the loss and illnesses of your fur babies and your niece. I have been so fuzz-brained with colds and whatnot I haven't been checking the blogs lately and so missed this post but my sorrow at what you are going through is no less than if I'd been timely. Take all the time you need; I'm sure many of us need to get back on an even keel and we can all dive more readily into new classes if we are ready for them. I know this is your livelihood being impacted here but it's also your life spirit itself being tossed around. Take care of yourself and your loved ones first as Mother Teresa used to say and then you can worry about everything else.

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  19. Dear Laure - I am so sorry to read about all your sadness right now. I can't add much to what's already been said, but know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. Take all the time you need.

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  20. Oh Laure, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet dog and for all the other problems that have seemed to crop up. The loss of pets is every bit as hard as the loss of humans and to have the added worry of your neice compounded to that is especially bad. Yes, take some time for yourself and come back when you are ready.

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  21. Laure, I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Take care of yourself.

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  22. I'm very sorry to hear about your dogs and your niece - why do things always seems to come in Threes? Hoping that things are settling down, and that you are feeling a bit more yourself - . take care, Mim

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  23. Oh, Laure, I'm so very sorry about all these sad things--I hope you do take some time for YOU. You probably need it--just be good to you. I hope the baby will be ok, and love the heck out of Andi while you still can. I'll be thinking of you...take good care,
    xo
    sue

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  24. I am so sorry to hear of these sad and scary events. I will be sending healing thoughts your way. Many times we have to set aside business or art concerns to care for ourselves and our loved ones, and it is the best thing to do. Take care of yourself in the process.
    a new friend.

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  25. Hello Laure,
    Just back from holiday, I'm sad to read how the year has ended for you.Everybody above me already said what little there is to say. I'll just add that there is no need to use capital letters for "WITHOUT" guilt: you do not have to convince anybody (but yourself?), you have made the only decision possible in the circumstances! Take care of yourself and your loved ones, and give yourself the time you need to be sad, nobody can expect us to be happy and energetic and bubbly and outgoing etc. ALL the time. Life just is not like that.
    I wish for a lot of strength and a stiff portion of good luck for you and your loved ones in 2012, and I'm sure there will come a time when you are ready again to share your wonderful personality and great talent with the rest of the world.
    All the best,
    Monique

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  26. Dear Laure, of course you do. I'm so sorry for your loss and for Ande and your niece. Wow ,life has hit you with a ton of bricks. It seems like it does sometimes. You will always have your dog with you in spirit. I know I turn to see Dusty ( we lost last yr) and she's not there but I feel her presence. Your other doggie just love as I know you will as much as you can, I'm sending you a big hug and my prayers will be with you and yours. Take care of yourself too,ok. love to you,Diana

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  27. Oh Laure, I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Susie and Andi's poor health. Wham! You are right. Take the gift of time, relish in the life around you, no matter how fragile. Celebrating each moment and taking time to do so is the best thing you can do for yourself. You and yours are in my prayers.

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  28. Ah, okay ... now I am in the loop. How wise you are to stop, wait and take things one step at a time. Keep breathing. You're the best.

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